just one of those days

You know those days that..

you just need to curl up in a ball and cry? Or get out the ice cream and watch the Notebook so you have a reason to cry?

Today was....just one of those days. Who knows whats wrong.

Well,

I just. Really don't know what to say. Except that I am SO grateful for my Heavenly Father. Today was kind of a testimony builder day.

Just one of those days that you KNOW he's there.

Well, it wasn't such a good day at work. Actually. It was terrible. I needed a hug.

Desperately.

And what do you know? In-n-Out was SUPER slow so they sent Tyler home early meaning that I got to see him on my lunch. Okay, maybe not the best thing. But I needed it. I needed him to hold me. And then, my FAVORITE person ever just HAPPENED to come to Target. I was doing go-backs and looked down the aisle and there he was. Hyrum. (And of course Carlie and Brandon) I just..I needed him and Tyler today. Hyrum calling my name. And signing I love you in sign language. And Heavenly Father knew that.

And then I got on fb and one of my friends had posted this. Like, really? Perfect timing. I just....needed a little (or big) reminder that he's there.

Footprints in the Sand One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have been only one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints was when I carried you." Mary Stevenson Footprints in the Sand watch this ^ And THEN, (sorry I'm not done yet) I turned on Netflix. And decided to watch the Last Song. Yeah, I know. Miley Cyrus sucks. No one likes her. She's a terrible actress. Yah de yah de dah. But somehow, this movie just kinda....hit me. I don't know if it was the piano or if it was the parent thing. (I'm pretty sure it was the parent thing) I was thinking about it. What if my dad (or mom) just suddenly got cancer? Well, I'll give you a hint. I've done it all night. I would bawl my freeeeakin eyeballs out. When she treated her dad so...nasty, reminded me of all the times my dad and I had a quarrel. Which, because of my rediculous teenage stubbornness, was a lot. The fights about dishes, the fights about homework, the fights about who knows what, the fights that ASHLEIGH WASN'T RIGHT. It just, kinda hit a sore spot. And like I said before, I just needed a movie that I could watch and just....cry. (Except it was kinda awkward cause Tanner was in there) I just, I am SO grateful for my parents. And I mean, I know I don't say it much. And I don't go over a lot. And I...I don't know. I'm just SOOOO grateful for them. For everything. All there time, energy, MONEY, love, all of it. (I hope you're crying mom. Cause I am.) I just. I am SO grateful and I love you guys so much. I'm so grateful for the wedding and choir and everything in between. And I'm so grateful that even though I'm sealed to Ty, that I'm sealed to them also. For eternity. I never have to worry about not seeing them again because I know I will. Even though I have NO idea how I would make it without them. The day one of them dies, I think I will need a counselor to get me through. I just. I love them so much and am SO grateful. And neither one of them should die. Point of this suuuuper long, amazing, crying post is that I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father. And that he loves me. And just gives me those days to test me so that I know that he's there, carrying me, helping me through. And for Ty. And for Carlie and Brandon for coming to Target today. It really meant a lot. To just...have those things happen. Answers to unasked prayers. And last of all I'm so grateful for my parents. I love them so much and they mean so much to me. I love you! XOXO, (the rediculously bawling) Ash